Saturday, August 26, 2017

A letter to present self


Dear Present me,

You are in MESS right now. Easy.

I know you are looking for a shoulder to vent out the wrath you are undergoing. I know you are depressed to an extent of giving up on life. Nothing seems to be aligning. Universe isn't conspiring to put all odds in your favour. But, don't you worry !

You aren't a disappointment or a sucker as people assess or calling you. Your patience is under examination. But, don't you lose on your morals. The days are dim, depressing and sucking every moment of your peace. It feels like battling alone with hundred monsters at a time. Exhausting. Dejecting. Dilapidating. People are calling you names. Dumb, useless, shame, Idiot, stupid. You are ramshackled into irreparable pieces. But, don't succumb or accept the defeat.

Your organisation rated you the lowest rank every year consistently and stars aren't shining on your shoulders. There aren't trophys on your workstation. Which ever phase you are in, the condition is deploring. There isn't enough money in your bank account. Y axis of your career graph is constant or disproportionately making moves at low pace. Right now, you cannot afford an international trip. Can't even think of Steve madden shoes or Marks and Spencers sleep wear. You are failing terribly to find beauty in small joys of life. Still, hold on.

People around you can see you but no one is going to pull you out of this dirty pit. They instead laugh or bully. The world doesn't seem to understand your language. Unfathomable. There is a transparent wall between you and the entire ecosystem. You are crying alone in darkness. You are torn ruthlessly. Yet, don't fall back that deep that you can't bounce. Don't go lunatic rather poise with grace. The energy you are spending on shedding tears is going to convert into your strength. Law of conversation of energy works here too. Gather the strength as much as you can. For each fall, bounce back with double fierce.

Bad luck is obscuring the bright future that is ahead. Similar to a solar eclipse. It's a temporary period like the moon's phases. You are wondering whether you fall in the category of world's below average intellects or lowest IQ humans. Extremely brilliant is anyways out of sight. At the same time you are much better than more than half of your peers. You are striving for your identity and the luxuries you deserve. Don't let anxiety rule you. You shall be bestowed with an identity soon. It might take months or years. It took 27 years for Nelson Mandela, 1000 failure experiments for Einstein, 12 rejections for JK Rowling, few bullets for Malala.

Wait for that one day when light will be shed on you. All of sudden you will see camera's focusing on you. You will find a write up about you in the newspapers. At the least a few words on the left bottom corner on the last page of a newspaper. A part of the world will turn their heads. Okay, let's be practical. At least few hundreds will be inspired by you. Google will surprise you with a Wikipedia page on your name. People will buy tickets to hear your success story. That day.. that day address the crowd and cheer them with your story. On that day, tell about your hunger stints, messy days, failures, fears, flunk tales. Tell them that you took breaks occasionally to deal with the phases but did not break off from the world.

On that glorious day, you will shed tears of joy. You will find purpose of your life. You will grace the podiums. People who mocked at you will greet you with immense respect and look at you in awe. Your signature will hold great value. Your hug will become prestigious. Each act of yours will entail a few smiles. You will fly with your own wings to islands, planets and everywhere you wish to. Stars will envy you. Till then, search insanely, hopelessly, ravenously for your love, passion and just live without giving up. Keep calm and go on. A lovely life will follow inadvertently.

Awaiting you !!

With love,
Future you

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Say NO to workplace Sexual Harassment


Mr. Sharma: Congratulations Ms. Simran !! you nailed the presentation today. I am glad you are meeting organisation's expectations. We are extremely happy with your performance.

Simran: Thank you Mr.Sharma.

Mr.Sharma: You will climb up the ladder. This is inevitable. I think you deserve a promotion this year. I will recommend your name to Mr. Saxena during PMS.

Simran: Glad to hear this. Thanks once again for considering my name.

Mr. Sharma: I was thinking it would really be great if you are a little flexible and available.

Simran: Like?

Mr. Sharma: Why don't you join me at my guest house next weekend. You know.. so that I can have a clear picture of your skills, strengths and weaknesses.

Simran: Sounds brilliant !! But, my skills are already part of my resume. Guess, you didn't pay attention. Never mind, let me take through. I earned black belt in Karate. I won state championship thrice in Shooting and Wrestling. My weekends are saved for kick boxing practice sessions. Moreover, I am on the look out for a  partner to practice Silambam and Taekwondo these days!!

Don't forget to text me your address. I am looking forward. BDW, thanks for the offer.


Deceptive Looks


Mahshallah ! his eyes

Mahshallah ! his hair

Mahshallah ! his body

Mahshallah ! his biceps

Mahshallah ! his beard

Mahshallah ! his physique

Mahshallah ! his smile


Ma..sha... his talk.. Run raja run !!


P.S. Colgate or Sensodyne is not a fix


Miss Misfit



In the world of snapchats and tinder friendships,

I am a misfit

In the era of living relationships and one night stands,

I am a misfit

In the days of kissing a stranger and killing a partner,

I am a misfit

In the nights of losing between tequila shots and puffs of hukkah,

I am a misfit

In the hours of getting high on cocaine and weed ecstasy,

I am a misfit

In the minutes of attracting to one and breaking with one,

I am a misfit

In the seconds of lusting and winking,

I am a misfit


I am MISS MISFIT,


hovering in the happiness of Sufi, Rumi, nimbu paani, sunrise, pure oxygen, sand art, good books, colour palettes, handlooms, star gazing, solitude and dreaming about unconditional eternal LOVE.



Diet Idli


"I am on diet, Mommy" I declared one fine day

Mom looked at me in suspicion and asked "So, what are you going have for dinner tonight?"

"Make a plate of Idli"

“Okay. What shall I make along with it? Peanut chutney or Sambar or Coconut chutney ?"

"That's too much of fat, Mamma. I will eat with Mixed dal power (Commonly called karam podi or mulaga podi) or dried curry leaves power. They are healthy and are good source of proteins" I replied sounding firm.

----

Mom handed me a plate of idli with dal powder. After the first bite, I thought I need to add something to make it tasty and interesting.

Hence, I added 2 spoons of oil to the dal powder and sprinkled 3 spoons of ghee on the idlis.

Mom gave a hopeless look 👀

Never mind. Burp !! Burp !!

I am still on diet BDW.

Bitch, Side please !


I drove my yellow Scooty on the smooth, unimpeded road. It was a beautiful journey with Gulmohar and yellow Bougainvillea planted on either sides of the road. I joyously rode on the traffic less road until the red signal interrupted my speed.

A thundering Royal enfield came from behind and stood next to my Scooty. The hunk driving it looked rakishly handsome with french beard and biceps. He enticing looked at me and I reciprocated. I took off my helmet, pulled down the hand printed colourful scarf, untied my hair and adjusted bangs on my forehead.

I looked at him again. He did too and I guess, our eyes spoke. The monsoon pleasant weather added the feel.

The next minute a sheeny black benz rushed annoyingly and came to a halt beside his bike interrupting our mutual admiration. Slowly, the window of the car came down. The "Gori Chitti" wore tube top, nauseating perfume and had utter disgusting green and yellow shaded hair. I could see piercings and tatoos on her body.

Chewing the gum, she pushed the shades over her head and winked at the hunk.

Signal turned green. Hunk followed her car.

"Bitch" I yelled. 

Naming Ceremony


Bhanu called me today to share good news.

She said our beloved Lakshmi in our backyard gave birth to a beautiful girl. Thank god!! We were all worried about her fertility. It would have been distressing to hear neighbourhood calling her "Bhaanjh". Baba Faiku Das's blessings showered on us. Though we were little disappointed that it's a girl, now we are happy after hearing the Pandit's prediction of her horoscope.

Bhanu says "Baby likes singing. She is a Born Singer. She melodiously sings "Amba Amba" throughout the day". Hence, we are planning to name her "Dhinchak Amja".

We cordially invite you to the naming ceremony on 32nd of this Month at
Gidrft village,  Klhdf Mandal. Post 98765


P.S. We accept gifts. Electronic fund transfer facility available.