Sunday, August 6, 2017

Say NO to workplace Sexual Harassment


Mr. Sharma: Congratulations, Ms. Simran !! you have nailed the presentation. I am glad you are meeting organisations expectations. We are extremely happy with your performance.

Simran: Thank you Mr.Sharma.

Mr.Sharma: You will climb up the ladder. This is inevitable. I think you deserve a promotion this year. I will recommend your name to Mr. Saxena during PMS.

Simran: Glad to hear this. Thanks once again.

Mr. Sharma: I was thinking, it would really be great if you are little flexible and available.

Simran: Like?

Mr. Sharma: Why don't you join me at my guest house next weekend. You know.. so that I can have a clear picture of your skills, strengths and weaknesses.

Simran: Sounds brilliant!! But, my skills are already part of my resume. I earned blackbelt in Karate. I won state championship thrice in shooting and wrestling. My weekends are saved for kick boxing practice sessions. Moreover, I am on look out for my martial arts partner to practice silambam and taekwondo these days!!

Don't forget to text me your address. I am looking forward. BDW, thanks for the offer. 

Deceptive Looks


Mahshallah ! his eyes

Mahshallah ! his hair

Mahshallah ! his body

Mahshallah ! his biceps

Mahshallah ! his beard

Mahshallah ! his physique

Mahshallah ! his smile


Ma..sha... his talk.. Run raja run !!


P.S. Colgate or Sensodyne is not a fix


Miss Misfit



In the world of snapchats and tinder friendships,

I am a misfit

In the era of living relationships and one night stands,

I am a misfit

In the days of kissing a stranger and killing a partner,

I am a misfit

In the nights of losing between tequila shots and puffs of hukkah,

I am a misfit

In the hours of getting high on cocaine and weed ecstasy,

I am a misfit

In the minutes of attracting to one and breaking with one,

I am a misfit

In the seconds of lusting and winking,

I am a misfit


I am MISS MISFIT,


hovering in the happiness of Sufi, Rumi, nimbu paani, sunrise, pure oxygen, sand art, good books, colour palettes, handlooms, star gazing, solitude and dreaming about unconditional eternal LOVE.



Diet Idli


"I am on diet, Mommy" I declared one fine day

Mom looked at me in suspicion and asked "So, what are you going have for dinner tonight?"

"Make a plate of Idli"

“Okay. What shall I make along with it? Peanut chutney or Sambar or Coconut chutney ?"

"That's too much of fat, Mamma. I will eat with Mixed dal power (Commonly called karam podi or mulaga podi) or dried curry leaves power. They are healthy and are good source of proteins" I replied sounding firm.

----

Mom handed me a plate of idli with dal powder. After the first bite, I thought I need to add something to make it tasty and interesting.

Hence, I added 2 spoons of oil to the dal powder and sprinkled 3 spoons of ghee on the idlis.

Mom gave a hopeless look 👀

Never mind. Burp !! Burp !!

I am still on diet BDW.

Bitch, Side please !


I drove my yellow Scooty on the smooth, unimpeded road. It was a beautiful journey with Gulmohar and yellow Bougainvillea planted on either sides of the road. I joyously rode on the traffic less road until the red signal interrupted my speed.

A thundering Royal enfield came from behind and stood next to my Scooty. The hunk driving it looked rakishly handsome with french beard and biceps. He enticing looked at me and I reciprocated. I took off my helmet, pulled down the hand printed colourful scarf, untied my hair and adjusted bangs on my forehead.

I looked at him again. He did too and I guess, our eyes spoke. The monsoon pleasant weather added the feel.

The next minute a sheeny black benz rushed annoyingly and came to a halt beside his bike interrupting our mutual admiration. Slowly, the window of the car came down. The "Gori Chitti" wore tube top, nauseating perfume and had utter disgusting green and yellow shaded hair. I could see piercings and tatoos on her body.

Chewing the gum, she pushed the shades over her head and winked at the hunk.

Signal turned green. Hunk followed her car.

"Bitch" I yelled. 

Naming Ceremony


Bhanu called me today to share good news.

She said our beloved Lakshmi in our backyard gave birth to a beautiful girl. Thank god!! We were all worried about her fertility. It would have been distressing to hear neighbourhood calling her "Bhaanjh". Baba Faiku Das's blessings showered on us. Though we were little disappointed that it's a girl, now we are happy after hearing the Pandit's prediction of her horoscope.

Bhanu says "Baby likes singing. She is a Born Singer. She melodiously sings "Amba Amba" throughout the day". Hence, we are planning to name her "Dhinchak Amja".

We cordially invite you to the naming ceremony on 32nd of this Month at
Gidrft village,  Klhdf Mandal. Post 98765


P.S. We accept gifts. Electronic fund transfer facility available.